I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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