I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I didn't notice because vodka
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
