Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
