Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
