Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
