My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
