the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
