I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think my mom watched the whole time
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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