ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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