I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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