i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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