What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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