we're blogging at a bar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I want a musical about memes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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