WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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