if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
