Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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