Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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