So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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