I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
