i jhust puked up my retainher.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
zippers are such a cool invention
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You've changed since you got that strap on
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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