He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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