I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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