Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
