We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
