Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
