How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
