your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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