First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize