i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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