This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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