I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
