We're facebook friends in real life
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
