i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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