Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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