my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
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Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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