in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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