If i come over, it means nothing
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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