The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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