did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
