a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
did you just send me my own nude
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
