I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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