One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize