Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
