They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
