I think I died a long time ago.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
