Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
MIDGETS
????
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
