Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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