He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
