The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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