I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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