they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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