whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize