Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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