Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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