Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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