After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
