I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
