worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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