Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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