do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
