youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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