Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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