Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
