trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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