What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
