worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
