I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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