come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
